


A Day at the Beach

by DoomedKelpie



Category: Yu-Gi-Oh! 5D's
Genre: Comedy, Crack, Day At The Beach, F/M, Humor, Jack's a jerk lol, Parody, request, the fate of the world rests on how well we can play a children's card game
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-14
Updated: 2020-12-14
Packaged: 2021-03-10 17:02:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,211
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28070607
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DoomedKelpie/pseuds/DoomedKelpie
Summary: It's summer and it's hot, so the Signers go to the beach. Yay~
Relationships: Fudou Yuusei/Izayoi Aki
Comments: 2
Kudos: 5





	A Day at the Beach

**Author's Note:**

> Here’s a request from someone over on FFN. It’s been a while since I’ve watched 5Ds, so we’ll see how this goes. Hope you like it :3  
> Also, I never finished 5Ds, and I don’t remember some of the characters very much, so I’m not putting Crow in this, even though he’s a Signer. He just hadn’t been in the show much at the point I got to in the series.

It was a hot summer’s day, as it often was during the hottest period of summer. It was so very hot, in fact, that the Signers decided to take a break from trying to save the world with a children’s card game to go to the beach. Some of the Signers however, were happier about this than others.

“… How are we supposed to ride our duel disks here?” Yusei questioned quietly with a pout. “Motorcycles can’t drive on sand…”

“Shut up, Yusei,” Jack ordered. “We aren’t here to duel. It’s too hot. Besides, I would defeat you anyway.”

“… I never said I was going to challenge _you_ , anyway,” Yusei grumbled.

“What was that, Yusei?”

“Um. Uh. FRIENDSHIP, YAY.”

“Oh, just normal #YuseiThings,” Jack hummed. “Anyway, HERE WE ARE AT THE BEACH, PEASANTS!”

“We should go change into our swimsuits,” Luna suggested.

“Yeah! Then we can have a WaTEr bATtlE!” Leo added.

“Yeah, sure, whatever,” Jack agreed dismissively. “I just want to show off my new suit.”

“… Narcissist.”

“What was that, Yusei?”

“FRIENDSHIP.”

“Let’s just get changed,” Akiza suggested.

And so they did. Jack emerged from the changing rooms in a complete wetsuit modelled after Red Dragon Archfiend. The next people to finish changing were Luna and Leo, who were both wearing the same suit made to look like Ancient Fairy Dragon.

“… Well, clearly, _one_ of us is going to have to change,” Leo huffed.

“I didn’t bring another suit,” replied Luna.

“Well, neither did I!” argued Leo.

“Can’t we just wear the same outfit, brother?”

“Ah, this is a fashion nightmare!” Leo cried before he saw Jack. “Actually, never mind. If we just stand next to Jack, no one will notice.”

“Yeah, because I am sMOkInG HoT!” Jack declared.

“… Keep telling yourself that, buddy…”

“Are you going diving?” asked Luna.

“No. Why would you think I would be going diving?”

Then, before Luna could reply, Akiza came back outside. She was wearing a black and red bikini with a petal pattern clearly resembling Black Rose Dragon.

“It seems we all had a similar idea in our fashion choices today,” she noted.

And then, finally, Yusei returned.

“Yusei, what in the absolute F*** are you wearing?!” Jack exclaimed.

“Jack, there are children here.”

“What? I said Fish,” said Jack. “And how are you going to scold me for what I do in front of the children when you’re wearing _that_?!”

“What? It’s just my swimsuit.”

“IT’S A SPEEDO, YUSEI!!”

And sure enough, Yusei was wearing a silver speedo. Guess which dragon his swimsuit was supposed to resemble.

“I fail to see the problem. You’re just being a prude, Jack.”

“DO NOT PRUDE-SHAME ME, I LOOK _FABULOUS_!”

“THEN DON’T SPEEDO-SHAME _ME_!” Yusei argued back. “Besides, Akiza likes it.”

“Can confirm,” Akiza agreed with a slight nod, her face serious.

“Ew, gross,” Leo gagged. “They’re being all lovey-dovey again. I bet you two have cRUsHeS on each other!”

“… Yes, Leo, we are dating,” Yusei told the child. “We have been. You know that already. We told you.”

“I was told no such thing!”

“Okay, well, I just told you again, so.”

“Told me what?”

“Hey, um. Guys?”

“Yes, Luna?”

“… There’s a sea monster.”

And sure enough, there was in fact a sea monster. It was a giant octopus-squid-thing, and it was screeching while waving its arms around in the air. They were pretty sure they could see it crushing a boat in one of its tentacles (and therefore killing at least a few people), but it was hard to tell. It might have just been an ice cream cone. It was a hot day, after all.

“Well, shi*.”

“JACK, STOP CURSING IN FRONT OF THE CHILDREN!”

“What? I said Ship.”

And then the sea monster started causing ~problems~ (because apparently crushing a ship doesn’t count as a problem). First, the monster disrupted the fishermen on the docks, which made them very sad :(. Then, it ate all of the ice cream at the beach shops so no one else could have any, which, frankly, was just a real jerk move. Finally, it committed tax fraud and left a mean, unsolicited comment on an unsuspecting stranger’s Reddit thread.

“I don’t think I have ever experienced such evil with my own eyes before,” commented Yusei sadly.

“I know,” Jack agreed. “Our underprivileged upbringing resulting from systemic injustices and watching the souls of thousands of people get absorbed to summon the evil monsters of the Dark Signers doesn’t even begin to compare to this evil.”

Akiza held onto Yusei for moral support.

“… Guys, should we do something about this?” Luna questioned. “I mean, aren’t we supposed to save the day?”

“Luna, we’re only effective heroes if the evil takes the form of a children’s card game. Besides, I thought we weren’t supposed to be dueling today?” said Yusei.

“Oh.”

“Yeah, I mean, what are we supposed to do?” Jack added. “Try to throw our cards at it, and hope it gets a paper cut?”

“Well, maybe if we weren’t on a BEACH, we could drive our motorcycles and crash into it.”

“Yusei, if we weren’t on a beach, there wouldn’t BE a kraken.”

“… Oh. Right.”

“Plus, even if there wasn’t any sand, we’d sink into the ocean. Or what, did you learn to drive across the water?” Jack continued.

“A**. You don’t have to be such a jerk about it.”

“What was that, Yusei?”

“Oh, I called you an Ass.”

“Oh, just normal #YuseiThings.”

“Hm, actually, now that you mentioned that it’s a kraken, and not just a random octopus-squid-monster-thing,” Leo hummed. “Doesn’t it look a lot like a Fiend Kraken.”

“Ooooooh, you’re right, Leo. Isn’t that nifty?”

“What’s your point, child?” Akiza asked.

“Well, maybe we can solve this with a children’s card game.”

“Ooooooooooooooooh, does that mean I get to duel?!” Yusei asked with little sparkley star things in his eyes ‘cuz that lad just really like dueling with a children’s card game on motorcycles.

“No, Yusei,” Jack denied. “We still can’t ride our motorcycles on the sand.”

“Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!”

And then Yusei curled up in a ball on said sand, utterly devastated because his hopes had been cruelly snatched away from him.

“… Are we just going to pretend that this game wasn’t originally even done on motorcycles.”

“Yes.”

“Alrighty, then. Anyway, I have an idea!” Leo announced.

And then the child took out a flamethrower.

“See, cards are flammable, so we can probably burn the kraken! I’m not sure if the parts that are underwater will burn, but I figure that it’ll probably die if we burn its head, so yeah,” he suggested.

“An excellent idea,” Akiza agreed.

And so, with the help of his sister, Leo burned the absolute hecc out of the kraken, and the day was saved. Hurray~!

After that, the group had had enough of the beach for one day, so they went back to saving the world with a children’s card game (which they eventually did because ~yay, happy endings :3~). And after that, Yusei and Akiza got married, and Leo became a professional arsonist and Luna actually went to school or something. And Jack joined a boy band. But no one likes to be reminded of that last one.

And they all lived happily ever after :3.

The end uwu.


End file.
